Six months

What's up with all these "anniversary" posts, anyway?

I'm just processing, that's all :)

So, it's been six months since my dad passed away.  It is surprising that it's been that long, and it also feels like it's been longer.  I feel like I haven't talked to him in a very long time.... But lately I've been hearing his voice in my head.  Little things he'd say, jokes, and funny quips.  I miss our daily chats.  I miss everything, really.

Everyone tells me this first year is the hardest.  Obviously.  Father's day was difficult, but we fondly remembered driving to Port Clinton to spend the day with him.  Mother's day and birthdays are hard because we sorely miss his phone call.  Monthly "anniversaries" remind us of the distance created by all the time that we have spent just remembering when he was here.  We can't talk, can't call, can't see him.

I am reminded often that he'd be pleased with me, and that's reassuring.  Mostly, he'd be so happy that we are having another baby and I'm sure he'd be excited that it's a boy (he just had us two girls).  Sometimes when I'm cooking I wish I could talk with him about it- we always talked about what we were cooking that day.  We listen to music that he listened to so it simultaneously reminds me of him and calls me back to my youth- driving in the car, listening to dad sing loudly to the music.  The memories are so vivid, I hope they stay that way.  I wish you could take video of your memories, you know?

I'm thankful for a supportive husband who lets me talk about my dad whenever I feel like it.  I'm thankful that he misses him, too, and brings it up when he feels some sadness.  I'm thankful that he lets me process without urging me to feel any different than I already feel (sometimes well-meaning folks just try to cheer up someone who is grieving).  I'm mostly thankful that I married a man who loves to listen to classic rock.  Who knew?!  I'm as surprised as you, but he loves Bob Dylan and will turn on the Bob Dylan station on Pandora which, if you aren't familiar, then loops similar artists.  So we spend our days listening to blues and rock.  Pink Floyd, The Doors, Tom Petty, Janis Joplin, The Band, CCR, Bo Diddley, Paul Simon... I could go on and on.  It's so wonderful.

Which, while I'm rambling, reminds me of the last memory my dad and Kraig shared.  We were on skype just a week before he died and Kraig had just come home from work.  It was the first and only time we skyped with my dad- he had just set up his camera.  Kraig picked up Owen's toy harmonica and played an expressive little riff.  It was something my dad would have done.  I like those memories and those little glimpses of similarities between my father and the man I married.  I'm glad I get to carry those with me forever.

With his favorite little man.  

So, six months and we all miss him terribly.  The grief is getting better and I feel like I am in a healthy place- I miss him but am not overwhelmed with sadness at each thought of him.  I can look back on so many memories and smile.  I think I'm in the "safe zone" where people start to ask about him more.  Probably because they think it's been long enough that I'm not going to break down in a weepy mess of tears.  Either way, I like weaving stories about my dad into my day, and am thankful for a reason to share a little bit of who he was and who he is to me.

Homemade deodorant in 5 minutes or less.

A lot of people get weirded out when I mention that I make our deodorant.  Well, I've been doing it for almost 2 years and you haven't complained that I stink yet, have you?

I get weirded out by conventional deodorant (and other conventional cosmetic products), so we're even.

Then I tell them how amazing it is- seriously, the best deo I have EVER had; absolutely no odor after wearing it in the heat, and I've tried MANY deos.  I've even tried men's deodorant because it's "stronger".  Yeah, well I still stunk.  Just keepin' it real.

Usually the reply is "I don't have time to make my own."

You guys.  I hate that response.  *stepping on my soap box*.  It takes 5 minutes.  Maybe less, I'm being pretty generous here.  Seriously.  And once you have the ingredients there's really no excuse.  No excuse, I say!  I'm sure everyone has baking soda and cornstarch in their house.  So go pick up some tea tree oil and Vitamin E oil (both at Trader Joes- I'd recommend getting these items there because their prices are SUPER CHEAP, and hopefully you already shop there for some things), then go get some coconut oil (at any old grocery store, usually near the other oils/shortenings but might be in the "natural" section).  Bam.  That's it.

I use a plastic container from LUSH cosmetics- it used to have "Ocean Salt" in it, but now it's the perfect container for our homemade deo (yes, Kraig and I both use the same one and we both smell AMAZING).  We use two different essential oils, tea tree (from TJs) and Eucalyptus (from a natural food store- fairly easy to get here in PDX but in Ohio you may have to look around... then again the eucalyptus oil isn't necessary.)

So, first things first.  Gather ingredients and make sure you have a container.  Luckily our container is the EXACT size we need.  Providence!

 Next, you need to evaluate the weather.  Strange but true.  If it is over 70 degrees, there is a good chance your coconut oil is melted or at least quite soft.  If it's under 70 degrees, it's likely pretty solid so I'd highly recommend busting out a tiny saucepan.  I always use a saucepan because our temps don't get all that high, at least not enough to turn the CO into a liquid.  Chunky coconut oil = chunky deo.  Bad.

So I heat the pan on low-med and pour in my oils (recipe below) then turn off the heat. You don't need to cook your deo, you just need to melt the coconut oil.

Then I add the other ingredients, mix thoroughly, and pour into container.  Since it's liquefied I let it sit in the fridge for a couple of hours until solid, or you can just keep it in the bathroom overnight.

That's it.  It probably took me a whole 3 minutes and I carefully measured (definitely measure but don't beat yourself up by being ultra-exact.  It's going on your armpits, for crying out loud.)

Ahh, beautiful homemade, non-toxic, super-effective deodorant.  It's AMAZING, I dare you to try it and tell me otherwise.

You may be wondering how we apply it.  With our fingertips, silly!  It's a pretty soft formula, especially in the warmer months, so we just get a pea-sized amount and put half under each arm.  Then we wash our hands, of course.  It's really not as weird as it may seem at first....

THE RECIPE:

Sayward’s Homemade Deodorant Recipe

1/3 cup Corn Starch

1/3 cup Baking Soda

10 drops of Antibacterial Essential Oil (tea tree, lavender, or eucalyptus)

10 drops of Antifungal Essential Oil (tea tree, peppermint, sandalwood, or eucalyptus)

2 tablespoons Vitamin E Oil

3 tablespoons Coconut Oil

Some helpful notes:

This recipe lasts a good 6 months and that's between two users.  If you can't spare 3-5 minutes once or twice a year, I'll gladly buy your cancer stick  conventional deodorant for you!

Another great thing about this deo is it won't stain your clothing.  No more yellow pit stains!

Finally, if you have any irritation (everyone's skin is different!) just increase the coconut oil by a little and decrease the baking soda.  Play around until you get a good formula for your skin type.  You can also decrease the tea tree oil, add lavender instead (soothing), or any of the other listed essential oils.  Like I said, we do half tea tree half eucalyptus, but you can do all tea tree if you only want to buy one essential oil.

(PS.  Trader Joe's tea tree oil doesn't have a handy dropper like some oils... so if you have a mL dropper or 1/8 teaspoon it will come in handy here.  The equivalent is 10 drops ~ 0.5mL ~ a little less than 1/8 tsp.  If you use all TT oil, you can measure up to 1mL or just under 1/4 tsp.  Less is more, though- seriously, essential oils are potent and can irritate if used in too concentrated a solution).

*disclaimer, it is not an anti-perspirant.  This doesn't bother me because anti-perspirants are really bad for your skin (some say it increases breast cancer risk).  Anti-perspirant deos have an aluminum compound in them, and besides just being an awful thing to apply to one's skin, it also blocks oil glands- that's how it keeps you from, well, perspiring and that is bad.  Sweat is good, and this deo blocks any odor, so it's really just a little wetness.  Anyway, I haven't used an A-P deo in years because it caused really painful, really awful cysts (blocked oil glands!)  


You can check the safety (or toxicity) of your deodorant here.  My old deo was a super-natural, super hippie kind and it still got a "moderate risk" grade.

Price:  This is hard to gauge since I use the same oil bottles for a long time and for many different uses, but I'd estimate this is no more than a couple of bucks.  And in my experience it lasts longer than a deodorant stick....  But the up-front cost will be about 15-20 dollars.  Again, the oils will last a LONG time (years and years) if you only use them for this purpose.

Pregnancy: 23 and 24 weeks

A nesting report:
I got a haircut.  Fun!  I so needed the pampering and my hair SO needed to be cut.  I scheduled my next two appointments.... which brings us right up to our due date!  Exciting!  I'm trying to get things like that in place.  Less to worry about later :-)

This week we'll be painting!  We were ultra-productive last week- we weeded our yard and flowerbeds, cleaned up the side 'yard', organized some things around the house, and I gave the kitchen and bathtub a good scrub.  It feels good to stay on top of things.

We had another midwife appointment yesterday.  It was great (as usual).  We talked about important things, not-so-important things, and at one point we were all dying of laughter.  Not your normal prenatal appointment, to be sure.  Our next appointment is our gestational diabetes check- we opted for a modified test which means we'll be going in for a finger poke then going out for a heavy-carb breakfast.  Two hours later we'll return for a blood draw and regular prenatal appointment.  I'm excited not to drink glucola (gag!), especially since I have tried to cut out much of the sugar in my diet because of my RLS.

My belly is measuring 25cm, which is about a week ahead but I'm not surprised since our ultrasound showed that Baby is measuring large.  Oh please, let his weight "even out" by the end.... Either that or he can come a bit early!  I really don't want to birth a huge baby.  Not that I don't think I can do it, but waddling around with a giant belly (I'm pretty petite!) doesn't sound all that fun.  Oye.  (// end naive rant.)

I'm trying to keep my weight gain in perspective, too.  I am a few pounds ahead of where I was at this time with Owen, however, I am less active now (I was still working on my feet all day during last pregnancy) and I am a second-time mama.  I also didn't gain enough during my last pregnancy- my midwives were never concerned and it was a perfectly healthy pregnancy, but I lost all the weight far too quickly (please don't throw tomatoes at me).  I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight by two weeks post-partum.  This all sounds great, right?!  Not.  Not for a breastfeeding mama, especially.  I had no energy and I was starving all the time even though I was eating a ton of food each day.  I just couldn't gain any "extra" weight!  I didn't have the calorie stores to be able to breastfeed AND maintain a good energy level, so I'm trying to convince myself that it's okay if I have a couple extra pounds post-partum.  I was spoiled last time, for sure, but losing the weight that quickly isn't ideal for breastfeeding.  Still, it's hard to gain weight (yes, it's even a mental struggle for me during pregnancy when I'm SUPPOSED to gain weight.  I think that's completely normal).

Anyway.

She put us down for "dad catching baby" and "placenta encapsulation" at the appointment.  Doesn't that sound exciting?!  So thrilling, I know!  If you don't know what placenta encapsulation is, you just wait.  I'll tell you ALL about it.

And here is a 6 month belly shot.  Thank goodness, now I can cross "take belly photo in a parking garage" off my to-do list! (kidding)

One year

It is still pretty surreal to Kraig and I that we live in Portland.  In the most literal sense, it is a dream come true.  It's also pretty unbelievable that we are 2700 miles from where we grew up, 2700 miles from many friends and family, 2700 miles from familiarity.  We're also 2700 miles from a place we didn't love, 2700 miles from yucky (in our opinion) weather, 2700 miles from so many things that were weighing us down.

Notice I didn't say 2700 miles from "home".

Portland is home- we've known that since before we moved here.  I will fail at trying to explain what it feels like to know that you belong somewhere entirely different.  I just know that we always had a longing, and once we finally visited we felt as though we were finally where we belonged.  When we vacationed here before finally moving, we were boarding the plane and I was teary-eyed, feeling like we were leaving our real home.  We hoped and planned that whole plane ride back to Cleveland.  We didn't know if we'd ever really make it to Portland, but we certainly hoped that maybe soon we'd take the leap. In the meantime, we just had to get by until our dream became a reality.

Surviving the stifling heat with no a/c our last few days in Cleveland.  

This is the last time I saw my dad when he was well.  

So that's what we did.  We made plans, we said goodbyes, and 12 months ago we packed up everything we still owned after selling three-quarters of our belongings (oh how I wish we'd taken a photo of our yard sale.  It was EPIC.)  We buckled our chubby little 16-month old baby into the back seat of our car, and we left.  For good.  We've never looked back- not once.  Our only regret is not moving sooner.

Our first year here has been so much better than we could have imagined.  Our move was flawless- we were like a well-oiled (and highly organized) machine.  I'm still so very proud of Kraig and all the work he did to get us here.  Unpacking was swift- just the way we wanted it to be.  We wanted to settle in as quickly as possible (we unpacked in one week) so that we could start living in our new city.  And start living is exactly what we did.

Festivals, parks, friends, markets, neighborhoods.  We explored and engaged and immersed ourselves in everything we could find.  We found new favorites, met new faces, picked up new hobbies and habits.  In all of the changes and newness we felt more alive and more satisfied than we had ever been before.   We are living abundantly- we are our most true selves.  Living the life we've imagined is so much easier in a place where we feel accepted, encouraged, and appreciated.  It's easier to make the choices we do in a place filled with like-minded people.  In short- we are west-coasters for sure.  It may be a whole different world here, but we love it.

 And oh, if we could have known the relationships we'd form.  When many of our neighbors came over the very first day we were here and offered help I wonder what we'd have thought it we had known they weren't just welcoming us into the neighborhood but into a family of sorts.  We've done more than just celebrate special occasions and eat a potluck dinner here and there with them.  We've shared experiences, forged friendships, and made unique bonds.  We see them everyday- our son plays at their house while we chat, we eat dinner together just because we want to spend time with them.  It's so natural, so comfortable, and so wonderful.  We love them so very much and we are beyond blessed to have them.

So, one year.  One year's worth of holidays and celebrations.

The Timbers game for Owen's birthday

One year filled with work promotions and exciting accomplishments (I know I've said it before, but I'm ridiculously proud of Kraig)

Howard Schultz- Kraig met him in April 2011 at an exclusive partner event

Kraig welcoming all the Starbucks VIPs at the opening of his new store

One year full of exploration and new hobbies 

One year and two new additions.

It's been exciting, wonderful, fascinating, inspiring, and fulfilling.  We are finally home.

Oregon Berry Festival

This was the first annual Oregon Berry Festival in Portland.  I didn't know that it was the first until we got there, but I was pleasantly surprised by the selection and variety of farms present.  

And let's be honest- I was loving the samples.

These were the best strawberries I've ever had-

Owen was near-silent the entire time we were there, probably because he was eating berry after berry.  He loved it!

There was a trade show indoors with various value-added products like jams, liqueurs, juices, baked goods, candies, and other canned items.

Delicious.

We had a lot of fun, free admission, and easy to get through the whole shebang in less than an hour.  Win!

the most awesome poster ever

I had to share.

It's seriously too bad that this is sold out (super limited edition).

More brews!

So far, Kraig is keeping up wiht his goal to always have a homebrew in the works.  He even has his brewing schedule mapped out for the rest of the year.  What a fun hobby for him to have! 

I must say though, I am a baker and baking is precise with just a little teensy-eensy bit of room for error or experimentation.  But baking doesn't intimidate me like it does for some folks.  Brewing?  THAT is intimidating.  I feel like my husband is a mad scientist when he's brewing.

Check out these photos from the first day of pale ale brewing (there are two rounds of fermentation before racking (bottling) followed by bottle conditioning.  This brew will be ready to drink in about 2 weeks or so (4 weeks from original brew date)).

 Carboy and funnel, sanitized and ready!

 Owen gets excited about making beer.  

 Yeast from Hopworks brewing co., and Kraig's notes and recipe.

 Apparently one needs to drink beer in order to make beer!

 Whole grain crystal malt

 Everything is boiled...

 and precisely measured.

 Hops!

 boiling malt

 Calculating original gravity, IBUs, and he can also figure out the estimated alcohol content

Primary fermentation!  That's some happy yeast!

Boys being boys

Owen wants to build, build, build lately.  Blocks, train tracks, towers out of tupperware- it doesn't matter what it is, he's building it.

His daddy helps.  Like these birdhouses- apologies to Kraig and Owen, these are not birdhouses, they are people.  Specifically, that is Kraig and Owen... made out of foam blocks.  I mis-remembered.  Sorry!

And when they're tuckered out from building, they take a break and lounge around with Sophie.

We can't wait to add another one to the mix.

Summer foods

Oregon is certainly the mecca when it comes to delicious foods.  We've got locally-grown, harvested, and processed grains available from Bob's Red Mill just a mile or two from our house.  Strawberries- and berries in general- here are unlike any I've had before.  Deliciously red all the way through- no white interior with super-tart flavor.  Marionberries are named after Marion county in Oregon, so you know you only get the best from here in the state.  Same for cherries- Oregon is well known for its plump, juicy Hood-grown cherries.  True confession: I had never eaten a raw cherry, nor baked with cherries, until we moved to Oregon.  What. A. Shame.  Anyway- Oregon has a wonderfully long growing season and super fertile soil, so that is just the tip of the iceberg.  Mushrooms (chanterelles especially), hazelnuts, and ohmygoodness the wines.  

We're in paradise, for sure.

It's been a great summer so far with our CSA, but we've also tried to get out and explore the other avenues of acquiring some of the fresh produce from the area.  We have perused farmers markets but we like to go straight to the source.  Thus, we made a little trek to Hood River to pick up ten pounds of cherries.  

I had plans for these cherries.  Oh yes.  Big plans.

 Sweet cherry crisp

 I'm getting a little ahead of myself- here are some pictures from our trip to the Hood River Cherry Fest.

 CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE THIS VIEW?!  This is Mt. Hood.  Well, it's the base of Mt. Hood.  She is covered with clouds but it was such a warm, beautiful summer day.  In my humble and slightly biased opinion, Oregon has some of the most majestic views.  But that's not what this post is about....

Cherries!

 We picked up dark sweets, rainiers, and lapins (I think lapins are my favorite, but it really depends on my mood.)

 Rainiers.  Y-U-M.

 Cherry Cobbler

I've also made a cherry pudding cake, and we froze a few different pie and crumble variations.  Thankfully, though, cherry season is just getting started here, so there will be many more cherries to enjoy!

I think having our CSA has helped pull me out of my first-trimester anti-cooking binge.  I was so repulsed by so many foods and so exhausted by pregnancy in general that for months it was hard to motivate myself to get in the kitchen let alone pull together a meal.

Having a variety of super-fresh produce brought to my house each week certainly helps cure that.  Fresh garlic!  Fresh carrots!  Fresh herbs!  Oh, it's been fun.

It's also been a little chilly for July (usually right around 70 degrees) so a hearty soup seemed appropriate.  I really don't need much of an excuse to make soup, to be honest.  There's really nothing like homemade soup, but adding a side of crusty bread with fresh homemade pesto certainly makes it that much better.

Fresh fruit smoothies!  We usually don't get enough fruit in our CSA to bake anything, so we either eat the fruit plain or I blend it up into a smoothie for me and Owen.

I'm looking forward to when harvest season really picks up.  It's not been hot here yet, so I think it will be an interesting- and late- harvest this year.  No complaints here!  We're enjoying everything as it slowly comes in.