Break

I know this might seem like it is coming out of left field- which it is- but I am going to take a break from blogging publicly for a while.  There has been a string of "things" (I hesitate to call them "events" because it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, just a lot of things at once) lately that has left me a little jaded.  I need a little time to do some debriefing and re-evaluation with my husband about what the blog means to us.  I like that it has always been a sort of record, a virtual baby book of sorts.  I like that we have these memories safe forever so we can always go back and revisit this time in our lives.  I also like that it has been a way for us to keep in touch with far-away family and friends.  It's our blog, so it has been our safe space to work out what it means to be married, to be parents, and to have moved cross-country.  We, as young adults, are in process and this has been a place to share our journey.

Part of that process and journey has always been to expound upon some of the quirky things about us.  Like I said, this has been a safe space to not only process but also share some of the reasons for why we do the things we do.  We know we're different.  We know there are questions about why we eat/purchase/believe/think/parent the way that we do.  We encounter those questions quite frequently- more frequently in Ohio than here- and honestly, it has been nice to be able to "explain ourselves" in black and white.  Just like memories with Owen, though, we are on a journey and things are very dynamic, so it has been a blessing to us to be able to have record of all of our personal development as well as family development.  You know, like how Kraig had to teach me how to sort my recycling.  Or how we transitioned from a one-vegetarian household to an entirely vegan household (again, thanks Kraig.  Maybe he should do the blogging ;)).  Or how we nailed down some traditions for our little family.  That kind of thing.

But, we moved to a place where we aren't seen as "different".  Our experience has shown us that there are as many types of people as there are people, and we are in a place where we are free to be and we are accepted for us.  We always knew that this would be the case- that's why we wanted to live here.

So why stop blogging?  To keep it short, in Ohio we felt like we had to just avoid talking about certain topics.  We had to "act normal".  We shied away from being too "weird".  Now that we have been able to fully express ourselves for the last 4 months, I feel a disconnect between how we think and live and how I feel like I can blog about our life and experience.   Frankly, I am feeling like I can't write or speak about our values and beliefs publicly without feeling scrutinized (and sometimes being outright judged).  I know that is normal when you put things out into the blogiverse.  Maybe that's okay- the door is there for anyone who doesn't want to read about a young alt-family in Portland.  Maybe I need to find my voice again.  Maybe I need to get over it and not care what others think.  I think I just need time to think and come back to it later.

I plan to continue recording Owen's development and maybe other random stuff too, but it will not be public.  That way if I do make it public again, all the content is there and we don't miss a step.  Maybe I'll make it invite only.  Maybe you can email me and I'll "let you in".  Maybe I'll change the address.  In any event, you can keep up with us on Facebook, me on twitter, or call/email/text/visit.  I just need to retreat to where it's just the three of us for a little while so we can regroup.

Love-
the Buesch fam.

PS.  Merry Christmas!